Series two episode one

Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races Thunder Races

The upside down car.

It all began when watching an episode of Scrapheap on the Discovery Channel, like hundreds of others we thought we could do better than that!

We had previously emailed Scrapheap for an application and got no response, so the next one to try was Leopard Films (the production company), We found their web site, got a contact email address, and sent of an email asking for an application form. We sat back to await the reply, none came so we gave up on the idea. Then out of the blue an email from Mike the producer asking us to fill out the application form!

A couple of months went by, then Geoff got a phone call from Ben one of the researchers, saying “we received your application, can you make us a demo video and send it in for next week?” Fortunately, we were going on a offroading trip that weekend, so we asked Rick (Heidi’s Dad) to take some video of us looning about and then do some bits to camera saying who we were and what we had built. We got a bit carried away with the demo’s and it turned into a challenge to see who could jump the highest, I think Geoff won but that was probably down to Lyndon only having front wheel drive as he’d blown the rear diff earlier in the day.

Marc was not at the play day so we had to film him separately, he was not too keen, being a bit camera shy, little did he know how he would get used to having a camera stuck in his face.

We got the tape edited and sent off, then waited, and waited, nothing, guess they didn’t like it. After what seems like months but it was probably only a week or so Geoff got a call from Naomi, “Hi I’m Naomi from Thunder Races, we love your tape, can you come on the show, we are filming next weekend?” “Yes should be okay, what are we building?” “A upside down, back to front car that has to race over a six mile off road course” PANIC!!

Marc and Lyndon said they could make the dates so we were all set, we tried to get as much information out of Naomi about our challenge but either she didn’t know or was keeping it from us.

We arrived at the hotel the night before filming was due to start and only had a rough idea of what they wanted. We met the other teams and they seemed like a nice bunch. It was Lyndon’s birthday so we invited them to join us for a few beers. In previous shows they goaded all the teams into slagging each other off, we all got on really well so we decided there and then that we wouldn’t fall for that. At the time of writing I’ve not seen the programme so I can only hope the others kept their word!

Geoff, being the team captain, had to have an early night, he had to be on set at 7am and as we were over an hours drive away we had to leave at six. The set, in rural Oxfordshire, was a huge old aircraft hanger on a disused airfield, the hangers previous claim to fame was that it was used in the James Bond file Octopussy.

The first thing we did when we got to the set was have breakfast, Carlos the caterer produced some fantastic food, how he did it I’ll never know but over the course of the next few days we were to be very grateful.

Geoff’s notes of the drive round.

After breakfast we were introduced to Adrian Simpson and Rachael Simmonite the presenters. The first part of the filming was for the team captains to be driven round the racetrack, and for them to get our thoughts on their tough off road course. Danni, Dave and myself were seated in the back of a SII Disco with Rachael driving and Adrian in the boot.

As we were shown the “tough off road course” Adrian was asking questions about what we thought, Dave and Danni had never done any offroading so were quite nervous about the obstacles, to me they all looked rather easy and I started saying so on camera. About half way round the course I thought to myself that they were easy as I was thinking about doing them in one of our modified 4x4’s and not in some old heap we were going to rescue from the scrap yard! I thought I’d better start showing a bit more restraint or I was going to end up looking like a cocky git!

One of the obstacles was six cars lined up nose to nose, we had to drive across the bonnets, could be a bit tricky if you get it wrong so I did my piece to camera with a lot more reserve saying that it was going to be quite a challenge, I think this is what they wanted anyway, last thing the production team wants is someone saying their challenge is too easy!

Once we did the drive round it was time to explain to the other team members what the plan was. The idea is that the other team members had no idea what we are building or what the racetrack was like. At this stage I knew what the track was but had no idea what we were building!

The challenge was to take a car, turn it upside down and back to front, race it over six miles, then drive it up a bank, roll it over onto some wheels mounted on the roof and push it over the finish line. Sounds easy if you say it fast enough!

Shopping.

We decided we wanted rear or four wheel drive and something with a chassis so we thought about cutting the roofs off two cars and welding them together but decided that was too easy and a bit of a cheat. We were given a thousand pounds and a list of local breakers, steel stockholders and car shops and sent on our way.

We found the phone number of the nearest breaker and entered it into the phone and as soon as they said "Action", we hit send, Geoff explained what we wanted. The best he could offer us was a 3.0 EFI Carlton, it belonged to a mate of his but he would see if he could get hold of him for us. We got to the yard and Neil the breaker told us he could not get hold of his mate, but he did have a 2.0 Carlton

We had a look, the Carlton was locked and he had no keys but that was no problem. The back door was open, which was the only door available, the others were deadlocked. Lyndon climbed in and started looking for the keys, no luck. We were filming in the height of summer and it was very hot. We had to wear these green boiler suits with matching T-shirts, and had to keep them up as they had our names on. For the trip round the breakers they also gave us hard hats, that we had to wear when being filmed, otherwise they could not use the footage, so poor Lyndon was in this scabby Carlton fully kitted out in overalls and hard hat trying to get it running, not nice

A camera crew followed us everywhere that we went, Rich and Dave. Naomi and Ben, two of the researchers, assisted them. Not only were they filming us but Rich the soundman and Dave the cameraman were also asking questions and we had to reply to the camera. The first question was directed at Geoff. "Looks like you may have found the car, is it a problem that you don't have the keys" "No" he replied " here is the first lesson of the day, how to steal a car!" and the camera pans round to Lyndon who has the ignition wiring out and is just getting the car started! Bet they don't show that bit! Bet they don't show us doing handbrake turns in the car park to test the handbrake either, well if they do I hope they show the proper handbrake turns rather then the aborted ones!

Now we said all along we didn’t want a fuel-injected car, too much like hard work. Lyndon kept saying he was not TOO worried about EFI and we should go down that route, as he hates carbs. The 2.0 Carlton was a heap, automatic as well, it would do the job but it was not going to be fast, Geoff went and spoke to Nigel the breaker to try and twist his arm, we wanted that three litre six cylinder EFI Carlton! Arms were twisted and the deal was done, two hundred quid but he wanted the alloy wheels back!

The second thing they won’t show on film was us getting the alloys off, “How are you going to get the wheels off without a key?” “The second lesson in car theft” queue Marc hammering a socket onto the locking wheel nut and undoing it!

Once we had the car we needed steel for the chassis we were going to build, steel stock holders were shut, it was getting late on Saturday, we also needed paint and various parts to make it all look nice. Off to Halfords then, only problem was they were closing at six and it was quarter two, so we phoned them up “ Hello do you want to be on the telly? Best stay open then” did the trick, never have Halfords staff been so helpful, got lights, battery, kids bicycle horn, and green paint from Homebase next door.

Build day one.

Sunday, nothing was open, and we still needed steel and axles for our roof wheels. No steel but Nigel the breaker was open (must be the only breakers in the whole of the UK open on a Sunday) so off we went. Axles were easy, he had two Fiat Ducato vans, rear axles and wheels fifty quid for the pair. We looked at a couple of old trailers to use as the chassis but they were not really good enough so back to the workshop and first job was to start stripping the Carlton.

The idea of the programme is, you have two twelve-hour shifts in which you are supposed to build your car. The problem was during those shifts they also want to do other filming. In Geoff’s case it was to go and watch some mad Aussie do roll overs on a quad bike, slightly interesting once, boring as bat shit after three hours! When Geoff got back to the workshop it was Lyndon’s turn. They had asked us to bring along one of our off road cars for a show and tell. Lyndon had taken his buggy so we lost him for 3 hours while they filmed him playing around off road, we were the only team that had to do this. The timing could not have been any worse, Lyndon was in charge of the EFI, so he had to take the wiring out. The other problem we had was that the Carlton was a CDX model, it had every conceivable electric gadget known to man, and we had to get it all out without cutting any wires!

Lyndon hoped that we could chop some of the wiring loom and we managed to get a manual from Halfords. It soon transpired that the wiring diagrams in the manual bore no resemblance to the wiring in the car! Fortunately Lyndon’s mate Baz was only a phone call away. To say that the wiring diagram for the EFI is complicated is a understatement, Lyndon was using all his electronics know how to work it all out and he was just about coping talking to Baz with the camera crew in his face when along came Adrian the presenter. Adrian grabbed Lyndon’s phone and started interviewing Baz, who had no idea what we were doing or who Adrian was, I thought Lyndon was going to explode! Sadly the end result of this was we needed to keep most of the loom intact

So while Lyndon was off Marc and Geoff started getting the engine, gearbox and rear axle out. The plan was to drop the sub frames out, weld them to a chassis we were going to make, and then put the body upside down on top, sounds easy doesn’t it!

Lyndon returned and we finally get cracking as a team, we then found we were all called out one by one to be interviewed by Adrian, another hour lost each! This is when they were trying to get us to slag the other members of the teams off, time will tell if they succeeded.

By then end of the first day we had the engine, gearbox and axles out and most importantly the wiring loom and all three (yes three!) computers. In that day there had probably been no more then two of us on the car at any one time!

Our biggest mistake on the first day was going to the hotel bar, we’d been on the go from 7am, it was now gone midnight, to say we were knackered was a understatement, that first pint of Stella really hit the spot, as did the second, third and fourth…………..

Build day 2

Another early start, Pat Jackson the only man in the production team who knew one end of a screwdriver from another had promised us some steel. This was Monday morning and we had to build the chassis from steel we didn’t yet have, modify the body and get it fitted upside down on the chassis we were yet to build. Fortunately Pat is a man of his word, and shortly after we got started he turned up with some lovely sections of box and tubing, we could begin building!

We spent a long time making measurements and deciding how we were going to build the chassis, Marc was getting frustrated as he wanted to get going, he coined the expression “ I don’t know why you are being so fussy it’s only got to last six miles” Marc didn’t have to get in the finished vehicle let alone drive it at silly speeds down an old runway!

Once we had a plan the chassis came together quickly, quite a relief. One of the on going themes of the programme was expert analysis from Rachael Simmonite. At first she had us in the lead, however by the start of day two she had us in last place, and was making noises about us not even finishing! At this stage Geoff had to be dragged off again, he had to be interviewed on how we were going to build the car.

Geoff and the Perspex screen.

It will be shown at the start of the programme so they had to clean him up, and he had to pretend that we hadn’t started work and this is what we were planning to do. They filmed it in a tiny Portakabin, it was the height of the summer, their studio lights were giving off more heat, and it was like an oven. Geoff was knackered. He had to pretend he was all fit and ready to go, they wanted lots of drawing on this Perspex screen, he had no idea what he said or did, all he can remember is he covered their screen with his grand designs. All he can hope is that the cobblers he spouted made some sense!

One of the over riding things was being filmed all the time, you could not get away from it, to start it was a nuisance and we all made an effort to watch what we said and did in front of the camera. By the end of day two we were all seasoned veterans and didn’t give a stuff what we did or said, hope they didn’t pick up too much swearing etc. One thing we did learn was that they could not show any footage of us not wearing the correct safety gear, so when we wanted some serious bodge time we took the gloves off!

With the chassis built the next step was to get the body on, with the body shell on it’s side it was quite a easy job to cut away enough of the roof to go over the engine and gearbox. The engine would effectively be where the roof of the boot was in the original car. Once cut we had to wait our turn with the farmer’s tractor to lift the body, once set we lifted the body up and pushed the chassis underneath, the moment of truth, it fitted! Well it fitted near enough, had to make one or two small modifications, but the body was on the chassis and it looked good, the relief was indescribable!

With the body on the next job was to spray it in our team colour, now this is supposed to be the last thing you do, it was now gone midnight and we still had to film the reveal (the finished vehicles coming out of the smoke). There was no way we were going to get the Fiat axles cut down and mounted on the roof in that time so we cheated. Took the wheels off and rested them in the arches so they looked like they were attached, pushed the vehicle out, and Marc painted it a lovely shade of green, house hold paint thinned down so it would spray, looked quite smart in the dark!

So the look of the car was done, it didn’t start and didn’t have any wheels on the roof but it looked good and we could pretend, the other teams were all in a similar position, we’d done it. After much messing about the reveal was filmed, it was now 3am on Tuesday morning we were knackered and it was long over due time to go home.

Safety.

The production team had a team of experts who were going to check the all vehicles over, they fitted the roll cage, seats and harnesses (we were not allowed to) they were also on hand to finish the vehicles if need be. Needless to say we told them not to go near our EFI system, we would sort that during the week. After a days rest we all went up to get the vehicle running, Lyndon had been there most of the day looking into the wiring and was not a happy camper. We were running, however it seems one of the electronic control relays was blown up so we may have a problem with over fuelling. Transpires that despite us saying don’t touch it one of their “experts” had fancied his chances at getting it running. All he had achieved was blowing the relay, needless to say no one told us, so poor Lyndon could not work out why a fully working system now didn’t work for no reason other than we had moved it. He had to go through the whole system slowly and methodically until he found the blown relay and it took hours. Once he found the problem he then had to work out how to bypass it as these relays are like rocking horse droppings, so to the “Pratt in the hat” if you are reading this thanks for nothing!

Race weekend.

All we had to do was fit the Fiat axles, simple job of cutting them down and welding them back up again, time consuming but not difficult work. That done we then had time for details, visibility was dire, all you could see was directly forward, no side or rear vision. To try and make things easier while we were doing the roof wheels, Heidi started cutting out the central section of what was the bulkhead. Mike the producer was most impressed by Heidi’s efforts, so impressed, that he started talking to her about getting together a ladies team for later in the series! Heidi had seen what we’d all been though and turned him down, I think she was tempted though, right up to when she cracked her head open with a crow bar trying to get the last bit of bulkhead out, blood everywhere and it clashed horribly with the green paint that was all over the interior! The most annoying thing was that the space Heidi had created was then filled by the control box for the in car sound and camera’s. All Heidi’s work had been wasted!

The Race.

To say we were nervous is a understatement, we had made our own chassis, we had slightly changed all the front steering geometry, it was going to be a tough off road course, there were long straights, we had a very powerful machine, speeds in excess of 100mph were more then possible, I’m sure Lyndon who was going to drive will agree with me but we were bricking it! Marc was quite calm, he kept telling us not to worry as it only had to last six miles, we didn’t punch him, it was close but we didn’t.

The best looking car was given a 100-yard start, Adrian decided that the Blue team looked the best, a decision to this day I don’t understand. Only the red team that had made any effort on styling, okay Thomas the Tank Engine may not have been his thing but I think they should have had the start.

The start of the race didn’t go exactly as planned. The red team just took off and we had a job keeping up, guess it was only to be expected with the low gearing on the van. By the time we got to the first corner we were level, well we thought we were level, as we had no sideways visibility it was difficult to tell. A tighter line round the hairpin first bend and we were in front.

The race for us was going well, up until we got stuck on a fence! One off road section was in a long grassy field, we had to reverse 100 yards and into a cone garage. Now we knew we could not see backwards so we had mounted some wing mirrors on what was the top of the rear doors. They gave a bit of rear viz but not much because the problem was the rear tyres flicked mud all over the mirrors, so Lyndon had no idea where we were going or when we had to stop! We stopped when we got caught on the fence! Tried to pull away again and we were stuck, one of the fence wires had wrapped itself round the rear axle. Our hearts sank, back and forward we went to try and break free, seemed like ages. We thought our race was done, then twang! We were free! The rest of the course was plain sailing and we made the finish, rolled the car and got it over the line, did we win? You’ll have to watch and see!

If you want to know the results click here: Result

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